Don't get me wrong, Facebook is fun and can be very useful to keep in touch with people from all over the world (and to keep in touch and not talk to all those people you didn't talk to in high school...but hey look at how many friends I have!)...but one must admit that it has its quirks. I originally got a Facebook account in 2006 when it used to be restricted to college students only. I missed a day of class and was hoping that I could get a quick catch-up on what I missed...instead of giving me his number, the kid sitting next to me gave me his Facebook information...and that is how my computer use took on a whole new identity.
I took a break from Facebook (we both wanted different things so we went our own ways) but got back together with it after my mission in an attempt to get reconnected with the world. Just like I had changed over the years...Facebook had too. Here a quick list of what Facebook had become...
1. I just got poked? what is that? did someone seriously feel the need to invent a way to poke me over the internet?! I don't like being poked in real life...I don't think anyone does, we all respond the same, "Whoa, hey, don't touch me weirdo!" I don't know whose idea it was...but that person needs to get out of their parent's basement more often.
2. Fan clubs and groups; have we gone a little overboard? I think it is great that you can join a group of an interest, or a school, or a favorite band...but do we honestly a group for (I kid you not, it's on there) "being alive" Yeah! I definitely need to be a fan of that...or people might not think that I like living. Or there is the group "I hate the little triangle that is never wiped by the windscreen wiper" How does that group have over 65,000 members!? That is way more than the "Feed the poor group" with its 465 members. I think that you can come up with anything you want, no matter how stupid it is...and people will join it. While browsing I found the group "homeless." really? I want to meet the homeless guy signing in to his facebook account with his wifi capable laptop of blackbery. I am going to make a group "The hair on the back of my hand" invite your friends!
3. Its not official till it's on Facebook; relationships, parties, engagements, you name it, it isn't public till their is Facebook proof. Even though everyone plays around with the relationship status (like friends being in a relationship with other friends) it has become a seriously defining moment in a relationship when you are officially dating according to Facebook. That conversation between two people dating is the new DTR (define the relationship). "So...where are we? Are we exclusive" "Um...well we are two people who like spending time together...and..." "Well what do we put on Facebook?" This is always immediately followed by an updated profile picture of the two together.
4. Facebook missionary work. You all know what I am talking about, Facebook is trying to reach out to its less active users (an LDS term for those who are not in regular attendance). You see the little posts on the right side..."You haven't talked to so and so in a while..why don't you write on her wall" or "this person is only 22% active, why don't you write her a message" I fear pretty soon that two young men are going to knock on my door and say "Hi we are representatives from Facebook, may we come inside and share a brief message about the happiness that can be found in friendships and reuniting with total strangers?"
5. There is a constant quantity popularity contest going on over the amount of Facebook friends one has. While no one admits it, and will readily say "Oh I know,I think it's stupid to be friends with people you won't ever talk to," when it comes down to confirming a friend request and you are not sure how well you know the person...the natural thing is just to add them anyways...because hey you never know. Therefore, Facebook becomes a wonderful outlet to choose to not talk to people from high school now, that you did not talk to back then. If you ignore them...that is just harsh...but you can always add them and not talk to them (just look at their pictures the first day after you add them). Some people stay true to their principle and have a small amount of close friends...However others add almost anyone that sends a request; we are all guilty of this. I know someone that has 2,500 friends on Facebook and no contact with natural sunlight in the last 8 months..Yeah he's popular.
6. It is absolutely imperative that all my friends know what type of Disney princess I would be, or the celebrity that I would be married to. The quizzes on Facebook have gone a bit overboard. I don't even know who writes them, but they do a pretty poor job...you can basically pick which ending you want by the questions "If you were in trouble what would you do? a, wait for a man on a flying carpet, b, clean the house of your two evil stepsisters, c, talk to trees and look just beyond the riverbend, d, doesn't matter I'm asleep" Yeah that is a real personality soul searching quiz.
7. I don't like the WNBA! (I know that this is not on topic...but I had to get that off my chest.
8. As if Facebook isn't stockerish enough (I usually call it stockbook) with the ability to go through people's pictures, friends, interests, and so on, now Facebook wants you to update your status constantly...Ryan is sitting down with a bowl of cereal updated 1 minute ago, Ryan is eating the bowl of cereal uddated 30 seconds ago, Ryan is choosing to update his status instead of finishing his cereal...how sad updated 5 seconds ago. Hopefully someone isn't sitting at the edge of their seat thinking. "OH no! What is he doing now!? What kind of cereal is it!? If it is lucky charms does he eat the little brown things before the marshmallows!?"
9. Am I the only one annoyed with all the relative links? "You have a possible 62 relatives on Facebook will you confirm them?" Listen I don't time to sleep a full 8 hours, should I really be spending time electronically confirming my relative relations on Facebook?
10. Okay so I don't have a tenth point at the moment but the list is so much cooler with 10 points.
Ok so Facebook has its quirks and what some may consider downfalls, but at the end of the day, before I go to bed I still will get as gitty as a teenage girl talking about the New Moon Twilight movie when I get on facebook and have a notice that someone posted something on my wall. So the truth is we may all complain about Facebook, but will always relapse to it just as we relapse to fast food at the end of the night.
Writing the Past...
14 years ago
